Much a Dump About Nothing- 2011
Here are some of my favorite stories from 2011. Get lost in the past.
Part of me begrudgingly reads stories about kids who grew up in the 90s. Is that a real classification? I don't know. I was 3 when the 90s began, I was 13 when I spent New Years Eve 99 in Courtney Meyer's living room not making out with anyone and worrying about Y2K. What happened in between is really a bit of a blur. Middle school dances, TGIF, quitting hockey because my toes were too cold, getting suspended from recess for talking about the Jackass penguin. That said, here is a story titled "10 Things 90s Kids will have to explain to their children." Obviously some of these are lies. Will I really have to explain this or that to my child? I doubt it. My parents didn't explain to me that the premise of MASH was that they were fighting the Korean War, or that the embodiment of cool for them was a guy wearing a leather jacket named the Fonz. Now that I have a child, I do hope that some of these come up in conversation. I am mostly prepared to discuss my feelings on Boy Meets World, Men In Black and the Backstreet Boys. I am not ready to talk about Clarisa Explains it All or Beanie Babies.
Want to see a really weird youtube movie? I figure you did. This is a short movie called "Food Fight." It is a recreation of every major conflict in the modern era (since 45) as recreated by food. I watched it in class the other day with awe and wonder. I don't get why the american citizens are represented by French Fries, and sometimes, the foods/conflicts get a little confusing, but seriously, if you like war, or history, or food, go ahead and watch this video. It's worth your time. Then let's talk about how you think the clips were constructed. Did you feel that you understood American Intervention in Korea? What about Vietnam? how about 9/11. Did that make you uncomfortable? I have very little to add to this video but thankfully the creators of this video put it in HD sometime in the last 9 years so you can watch sushi attack hamburgers in HD not regular SD.
Mark Cuban's advice: "Bust your ass and get rich." He calls this the most patriotic thing you can do. Mark Cuban, you may know is the Owner of the World Champion Dallas Mavericks of the National Basketball Association. He is a millionaire after creating something. Anyway, this blog post from earlier this week makes some surprisingly lucid points about Patriotism and Economics. Did you know that 7,000 millionaires filed no income taxes last year? Read Cuban's entry, it's short. It'll at least make you think about something for the day and can you really begrudge that? Recently I had two thoughts, First: Money is super weird. After that, I thought: man, the internet is even weirder! I am not saying those are the only two thoughts I've had recently, but those two really stand out. (also: which came first-- the word for the fruit "orange," or the word for the color "orange" Responses welcomed.) Recently I saw someone complaining about how much they pay in taxes but how little they get from tax paying. If you don’t want to read about why Cuban, a billionaire, thinks paying taxes is a good thing, let me summarize: Paying taxes is an opportunity to help the millions of people in America who are less fortunate than you are. We could likely go see how much Cuban has paid in taxes lately, and that might be a peak behind the curtain, but for now, I like the message he presented here. Also: The IRS just extended the deadline for taxes, so you’re welcome.
Today one of the ice breaker questions asked to me was "which celebrity nuisance are you sick of hearing about?" I pondered for a moment before settling on Lindsay Lohan. I gave "because she used to be so hot, and now she's not" as my justification, and I think even freshmen understood. I may have taken it one step too far by calling "Mean Girls" one of the best films ever... but you know, live and learn. No one was listening to me probably. Here's something called "Emma Stone's Lohan Problem." It makes the argument that because Emma stone is a red head, she is getting all the roles Lohan should be getting if her life wasn't the Hindenburg (history reference check. raise your hand if you get it). I think it says that Emma Stone is boring. And that she LIKES her parents (which totally makes her boring). I guess the real question is if Lohan were in one room and Stone in another, and each was calling your name, which door are you opening? I'll let you think about it. Wow back in 2011, it wasn’t clear that Emma Stone was going to be a thing and that Lohan was done. Amazing how a few years later, Lohan was accosting Syrian refugees and Emma Stone was flipping Gosling the bird in La La Land
Slow work day? Want to read a good story about how assassinations take place? This GQ profile of a Mossad (Israeli intelligence) hit on a Hamas leader is phenomenal. It's longform journalism, so you'd have to set some time aside to really dig in, but I promise it to be well worth it. The story is meticulously researched and well sourced. If you have any interest in global assassination and politics, take this one to the bathroom, and enjoy yourself. Having visited Dubai, I can tell you that nothing like this ever happened during my time in that Emirate. Bonus points if any of you can identify how many Emirates there are in the United Arab Emirates. This story is interesting to think about when you think back to the US Government killing Iranian figure Soleimani. Remember when that was a big deal? Sort like the Lohan-Stone debate? Big in the moment… quickly overshadowed by other things.
