Phantom of the Dumpera- 2012
In the interest of content, and mining old news to make it new again, I am pouring over old Dumps to see what I was thinking and saying out loud from years past. Here are some of my favorite stories, still interesting, today, from 2012. Presented with only minor edits and updated with new commentary in italics.
This is the weirdest music video/advertisement I've ever seen. It's about Dolphins and Unicorns. I apologize in advance. Don't make the mistake to watch this around anyone you want to respect you. Upon rewatch, this very odd song is still super entertaining. Stick around to the end because there’s almost no way you see that coming.
My friend Mark was the first person I ever met who saved Abercrombie & Fitch bags because he liked the way the girls on them looked. Granted, Mark was 15 at the time and probably wore a lot of cologne (who didn't though?). He was in A&Fs target male demographic. The Fitch just announced that they were closing 3 of their 5 stores in Minnesota because the store isn't doing that well. I bet that that's because Mark isn't shopping there any more. Salon accepted a piece of freelance journalism from a 26 year old from Wisconsin who was asked to be an AF model in New York. He accepted, not because he liked it (so he claims) but so that he could write about it. This is the piece that resulted from his time as a male model. Worth a smile or three. Worth pointing out that A+F has made a huge comeback, at least in the Middle East. They’ve really done a nice job of getting into all of the malls of Qatar, so I am constantly reliving middle school everytime I walk past.
I was driving to the grocery store the other night. I turned on to the Interstate and said, “Do you think I could start a business where I rented puppies to people for afternoons? Is that a business plan with a future?” Without much thought, my roommate told me it wasn't sustainable and that I wouldn't get the draw I needed to get. I sort of agreed, but then sort of didn't. Can I tell you a secret? Puppies are really good conversation starters. Walk down a street with a puppy and you're 78% more likely to get stopped than if you were just walking alone. People are drawn to them. They humanize you and open doors to conversations you otherwise are excluded from having by a crippling fear of introducing yourself to random people on the street. Maybe he's right, puppy rental is not a great business plan, but I think it's a work in progress. In the meantime, tide yourself over with this list of "Dog-buying mistakes." Example: you had a great time renting a puppy from Sam's Puppy Rental Co last week, so now you went out and bought a pitbull, but then it bit someone and you have to figure out what to do with it now. The mistake was buying, and not just renting. I have so far managed to come this far in life without buying or adopting a dog. About three days before Leen told me she was pregnant, I told her I was ready to adopt a dog. Instead, we had a baby. Let’s just say it was easier to name our imaginary future puppy than it was to name our baby.
4. Last night, a show that I really enjoy returned to the air. It's called White Collar and it's sort of like "Catch Me If You Can" but with better suits. Since I fancy myself a huge fan of white collar crime and routinely plot how I would steal my millions, I really like to read stories about people who have taken these plans and perfected them. I actually just had a conversation with a bank teller the other day about the best way to rob a bank. She didn't know at the time, but I was planning a crime. Here is a Wired story about a criminal who planned awesome crimes and committed a lot of them as well. It would qualify as a long read, but it's a long read about stealing diamonds (using perfectly weighted replicas and skydiving onto the top of castle rooftops) and stealing money from banks. Did you know that most bank robberies take place in the morning when tellers are sent in to check the security of the branch? Me neither. Until the other day. Re-reading this in 2020 and wow, this story really holds up. I maintain it has a very White Collar vibe to it, but also aspects of The Score, the Edward Norton- Robert DeNiro film from like 2003.
5. This story is for selfish purposes, and frankly, I do not have that much to say about it. This appeared in Foreign Policy this month, and my friend Kristen did me a solid by forwarding it to me. It's about Qatar and it has a lot of great information about how the country got to be so powerful and rich. It explains that diplomatically, Qatar’s leader has been called the "Henry Kissenger of the Middle East" as he led the charge to overthrow the Qadaffi regime in Libya, has attempted to do the same in Syria (which upsets its neighbor, natural gas competitor and ally (for the time being) Iran). But the natural gas bubble, which Qatar's fate is so delicately linked, appears to already be deflating. This is why I intend to get in, and get out. The World Cup in 2022 could be taking place in a country with a crippled infrastructure that over-extended to curry international fame and prestige. Update: Wow this take aged poorly. Get in and get out? Bubble already deflating Huh, hey Sam. Here’s looking at you. About an hour ago, you just drove past the World Cup final stadium and it looks glorious. The world may be deflating, but Qatar is going to stay afloat, even if they have to pump $20 billion into the economy to survive the current downturn.
6. Long Read about Africa. I've never been to Africa proper. I've been to Egypt, but never Africa. People who have been to both Egypt and Africa will know what I am talking about. For everyone else, you might not understand the distinction, but trust me. They're different. Here is a story about Lagos, which is the largest city in Africa, and on tap to be the 3rd largest city in the world in a few years. Lagos is in Nigeria and Men's Journal ran a story from a guy who went there to try and figure out why it's so large. The profile of the city is a captivating read about a place that operates unlike any other city in the world. Corruption, gridlock, murders, drugs, music, this story touches on all of those things while painting a (from what I gather) accurate description of the city. Lagos does not look to be a city that is going to make it on top of any "Must Travel To..." lists, but this story certainly will pique the interest of avid travelers and thrill junkies. I’ve now been to the three corners of Africa: South Africa, Morocco and Egypt (I’ve also visited the Seychelles, which is Africa, I guess?). Despite my searches, I could not find anyone who named Lagos as a “must visit” destination for any year in the past 8. I was surprised. The NYT and Travel + Leisure put out a list of 50 places to visit each each year. Lagos couldn’t get a mention. I take that to mean it’s still a wild place for thrill junkies.
