What's your work situation? Are you back in person? My company just moved locations and opened a new office in a different part of Downtown Minneapolis. While neither a mandated return nor a suggested hybrid option has been announced, I get the impression they'd really like people to come to check out our new spot and work from there for a bit. 

I was on a call recently about this, and we brainstormed ideas about generating interest in a return to the office. I was the only person on the call who'd never worked in an office before. 

Schools, I've found, are much different than offices. 

Jobs are much different than teaching. 

Teaching is the Dominoes of professions. There are moments you want pizza, and there are other moments you want Dominoes. They are not exactly the same thing. Teaching is like that, as a job. It's a job... but it's something totally independent of that distinction. 

So, the office? What do we do AT the office that makes it so great? I am the type of worker that the company wants to get in. Or at least the kind of employee you could convince to come in more than I currently am if the circumstances are right. 

Some employees WANT to be in. We don't need to message them with Return-to-Office enthusiasm. They're the ride-or-dies. 

Then there are the people who moved to Kansas City or Florida. They're not coming, so don't message to them either. 

But me? I live ten minutes from the office—a straight shot in, and it's a pretty easy commute. I could do it!

The problem? Why. 

I'll leave it to my corporate friends (and senior leadership) to tell me what's so great about the office. I just don't see it. Is free (mediocre) coffee, average WiFi, unregulated temperatures, small talk with people I don't know or hardly interact with, and intense lighting better than my bed, my desk, my cat, my food, and the ability to do a load of laundry, vacuum the carpet, or run to Walgreens whenever I need to? 

The jury's out. 

This week's set of songs is: Return to Office 

Song
Meet Me In The City

Artist
The Black Keys

Released
2006

Lyric
Please, please don't leave me right now, baby
Right now, right now
Oh no, no, no
One Word
Bluesman
|More Than One Word|

Right now, the office is usually somewhat occupied most days. I can't give you an exact number because it varies from day to day, and heading in is optional. But my team's goal is to turn somewhat into mostly. We are working to get more employees in Minneapolis (and surrounding areas) to gather downtown in the new space. 

As we work to get everyone in Minneapolis to gather downtown at the new office, we are looking for a hook. There's some reporting that people do not want to return to the "office." Don't even get me started on rumors that NBC is recasting and looking to reboot The Office because that's not what I am saying. 

People don't want to work in "an office." They aspire to work somewhere with less linguistic baggage than a drab and dreary old office. We need to rebrand the office.

I just knocked the workspace because of lousy lighting, temperature control, and coffee. I overlooked the skyline views, skyway access, and vibrancy of downtown. We could say: Meet Me in the City!

Enter: The Black Keys 

The Keys released four albums between 2001 and 2007 and gained an indie cult following. They were a hard, loud drum and guitar garage rock duo without much pretense and many fans. They were playing in large venues but not stadiums. In 2007, they teamed up with Danger Mouse, and frankly, that's when things went south for them. 

I've praised Danger Mouse multiple times in other editions of MFC (Gnarls Barkley, Amadou & Miriam).

If you don't know anything about him, he rose to prominence when he released the Grey Album—a mash-up of The Beatles' White Album and Jay-Z's The Black Album. He produced Gorillaz's biggest hit (Feel Good Inc.) and collaborated with James Mercer of the Shins to make Broken Bells (High Road). The man has 5 Grammys and is in the pantheon of most influential producers of the 21st century. 

And yet, I think he ruined the Black Keys. He took a good thing and overdid it. Not immediately, but eventually, too much Danger Mouse influence drowned out what made the Black Keys special. He took their exciting garage rock and made it boring. As one Redditor put it, The Keys went from kick-ass to dead-ass under his guidance. 
The Black Keys are an ideal example of taking a good thing (somewhat filled office, in this comparison) and ruining it by trying to make it an excellent thing (mostly filled office). Maybe it’s okay as it is! Don’t force people into the office!

TBK recorded and released Chulahoma in 2006 in their pure kick-ass form. A covers record, Chulahoma is a collection of the songs of bluesman Junior Kimbrough, as reimagined by the Black Keys. 

This song is emotive, and the Black Keys bring a modern rock sensibility to a very bluesy tune.

Song
No Cars Go
Artist
Arcade Fire
Released
2007
Lyric
Hey!
No cars go!
Hey!
No cars go!
Where we know
One Word
Escapism

|More Than One Word|
When I discussed returning to the office, I spoke with a coworker who told me his daughter goes to her office three times a week. Granted, her building is across the street from her workspace, and her company has paid parking for the entire staff. Proximity and ease of parking are certainly two hurdles we face in getting people to head down to the Idea Factory. 

In this song by Arcade Fire, Win Butler paints a picture of a place devoid of modern (and futuristic) travel. 

I am primarily off Twitter, but right before I left, there was a big hullabaloo about the rise of the 15-minute City. If you don't know about the 15-minute City, congratulations. But since I am about to explain why this song speaks about the concept, I must explain it. 

The 15-Minute City is where people can live a short walk from work, school, and other daily necessities rather than braving traffic-clogged highways or long commutes. This came to represent dystopias for certain branches of society who believed this was a step aimed at curtailing individual freedoms. 

This morning, I listened to this song while in the car. The boys like it because it shouts out modes of transportation. Roman calls it "Cars Don't Go." Eliot asked me what it would mean to live in a place where cars (and ships, spaceships, and subs) don't go, and I told him that it meant a place where you could just walk and get what you need. Daycare isn't 12 minutes in a car; it's 4 minutes on foot. The grocery store is across the street as opposed to across the town. The Collab Lab is connected to the homestead, making the decision to come in less daunting. No more braving traffic or stressing about parking. Instead, it's all by foot. Come and go as you please. 

I am not suggesting that my office offer to move everyone into downtown Minneapolis. However, allowing people to move to Kansas City or encouraging them to move further away to second and third-tier suburbs because the days of the 9-5 office were past did limit their ability to make a return to a pre-pandemic office culture feasible. 

If a mandated return happens, I will spend much more time imagining a place where cars don't go; in the meantime, I'll just listen to this song.

Song
I Know There's Gonna Be (Good Times)
Artist
Jamie XX ft. Popcaan & Young Thug
Released
2015
Lyric
Pop quiz, it's a pop quiz (Pop it)
All my money comin' clean, you can't pop this (No)
One Word
Song-of-the-Summer-Vibes
|More Than One Word|

My first suggestion to get people into the office is to make a video of people lipsyncing to Petulah Clark's Downtown. This song is joyous, talks about how fun it is to be downtown, and just radiates positivity.

Assuming no one is on board with that idea, if there's a return-to-office sensibility we’re trying to hit, why not select a banger?

The song is distinctly not about going to the office. I reckon none of the people involved in creating this song have ever worked in an office. If you asked Popcaan what he thinks happens in an office, he'd be hard-pressed to imagine a world where people have meetings to discuss ways to get more people to get credit cards. 

Yet, a song that samples the Persuasions' 1972 single "Good Times" is a perfect way to pique interest in returning to the The Hub getting together with your peers, and maybe hitting an early summer patio happy hour. 

If you've never heard of Jamie XX, you may have listened to his work on his band The XX. The XX is moody and brooding, known for its melancholic, atmospheric bass guitar-driven songs. Jamie XX turns far more electric in this solo project, paying homage to early UK rave and dance scenes. By incorporating two rappers, he imbues his typical beats with an undeniable energy. Again, I am not in charge, and this song has some lyrics that would make my senior leadership team very uncomfortable. Still, it's a banger, and if we promised our office would be like what you think a place that listens to this song would be like... we'd get people in. 

Song
Going Missing 
Artist
Maxïmo Park
Released
2005
Lyric
I feed my body with things that I don't need
Until I sink to the bottom
Don't act like it came as a surprise
Don't believe me? Then look into these eyes
One Word
Ashamed

|More Than One Word|
One of the big draws of working from home is pets. Talk to enough people, and they'll tell you they like to nap with their cat, walk with their dog, or just look at their fish. These are the joys of being in your space. We've discussed an edgy approach to getting people into the office. There's a time and a place for a kumbaya message of belonging and unity, but what if we just said something a little edgier? 

Fuck Your Couch. Forget Your Cat. Break Your Dog's Heart. Get Downtown Now. 

In a world where that happens, we must think about songs our pets would put on in our absence. When I studied abroad in 2008, I operated a travel blog called "Going Missing For Awhile." It took its name from this Maxïmo Park song about regret, shame, and losing someone important. As a travel blog, I didn't really get into regret, shame, and loss. Instead, I focused on day trips through Cairo, weekend adventures to the Sinai Peninsula, holidays in Israel and Turkey, and the time I took a freezing train to Luxor and dined and dashed with a friend who is now a lawyer in New Jersey. 

I am afraid of doing too much digging to see if this site still exists on the Internet, so I won't google it. But if you ever stumble upon it, now you know where I got the name. 

As far as tying it back to leaving our pets behind, I can imagine Duchess Peppercorn laying on the bed, wondering what she did to scorn me so I had to leave her. It's sad to ponder, but sometimes, life at HQ beckons, and we must answer the call. 

Song
This Must Be the Place (Naive Melody)
Artist
Talking Heads
Released
1983
Lyric
I can't tell one from another
Did I find you, or you find me?
One Word
Luminous
|More Than One Word|

What if, instead of changing the name of the office to something more 'exciting' like The Hub or the Idea Factory, we just call the office Home. People love working from home. Home is where the heart is. Home is where your story starts. Home sweet home. 

What if all of those just meant the office? I know it's an unconventional thought, trying to redefine the word office, which is so wrapped up in corporate late-stage capitalism, rebundling it and presenting it as the new home. 

People already work around the clock. We never really leave work at work anymore, with our phones plugged into our emails and our bosses able to text us at 9pm to say something came up. 

What is home anyway? Why not call the office home? We all had home offices, and now, we have office homes. Think about it. 

I once worked at a school that didn't have passing time between classes. Kids still had to move between rooms, but class ended at started at 9:15. In the absence of passing time, you could never be genuinely late because you were late the second the class ended. This meant class just started on the teacher's whim when enough kids had matriculated from their last class into this one. 

When I asked about it, the assistant principal told me that without passing time, there's no bullying.

The logic went that if the kids don't have five minutes between classes to bully, they won't bully. 

Mind you, the kids still had to walk from point A to point B; they still were in the hallways, and the bullying undoubtedly still happened. The school just didn't have time for bullying in the schedule. 

On some level, this was profoundly idiotic (and we got it changed). On the other hand, it was brilliant. Data is only as valuable as its analysis. Plot points on a graph only mean something if you have some context behind what you're looking at. Everything is about messaging. As a message: "We don't have bullying" was way better messaging than "We have a massive tardiness problem." Now that I've really spent some time thinking about the office and how to encourage people to check out the space, I am through the looking glass. We can't get people into the office? We just need to get them home. 

The office is home? 

I guess this must be the place.