Quitting Qatar: Q &A

Good tidings readers new and old.

After the great feedback that people sent our way following last week’s news (read here), I wanted to do a little bit of housekeeping to address some of the questions that Leen, Eliot and I received about our (knock on wood) impending departure.

First and foremost, thanks for calling, messaging, emailing, or simply reading and thinking “Oh that’s nice” but not saying anything at all. We appreciate any engagement, even if it’s the passive kind that doesn’t force you to do get involved directly.

Question: When are you leaving?

Answer: If all goes well, we will fly out of Qatar at 7:45am on June 1st.

Question: Are airports still open?

Answer: At the moment, Qatar airways is operating flights to TWO US destinations. Chicago and Dallas. On a good day, QA typically flies to closer to 10 destinations in the states, so they’ve really cut back on the outbound flights to the USA. That said, Hamad International Airport remains open for outbound flights (and transit), and O’Hare is open. Assuming all things stay the way they are as of 2:09 pm on April 30th, we should land in Terminal 5 at O’Hare on the 1st.

Question: DO YOU HAVE TO LEAVE NOW?

Answer: We got this one a lot. The wonders of the US Immigration process say that we have to go by August because of the validity of our documents. If we wait longer… we start the whole process over again, so we’re going on June 1.

Question: Can you leave before June 1?

Answer: Short answer— no. This fits for our needs and our flights and the timeline we are on to sell all our stuff before we go. Longer answer: I spent an hour on the phone trying to book seats using all our points and miles and ensuring that we had both a seat for Eliot and a bassinet, in case he wants to sleep. Then I spent another hour on the phone a few days later trying to move the flight ahead anywhere from 25 days to 7 days. I was never able to get all the moving pieces to line up at a rate that we liked, so we’re going to wait until the 1st.

Question: Okay so you’re definitely coming?

Answer: Here’s hoping.

Eliot is all packed

He says: Can we leave now?

Question: Is flying safe?

Answer: Probably not. I mean, we haven’t left the house in about six weeks save for a few trips out when necessary. But our options in getting from Qatar to Wisconsin are limited. (Boat seems dangerous… cruise ships? NOPE; Cars are out; Teleportation powers, pending.) So flight is the only option. We’ve got masks, both n95s and regular run of the mill surgical. We’ve got latex-free rubber gloves. We’ve got alcohol wipes. The flights seems to be full, which isn’t great, but again: We’re sort of between a rock and a Corona virus here, so we’re going to put on our masks and gloves, wipe everything down, try to breathe as little as possible and hope for impeccable health of our co-passengers. Let me know if you have any safe flying tips. We’re open ears here.

Question: So O’Hare on June 1st? How do you feel about that?

Answer: Landing at OHare in the best of times is annoying and dirty and discomforting. Terminal 5 at O’Hare is top 5 worst airport experiences I’ve had in the world. In an era of COVID-19 and travelling with an infant + 7 suitcases, it’s going to be panic-attack inducing. We are excited 0% by the prospect but Chicago is closer to where we are going than Dallas is, and it’s a direct flight, so we are going to do it and hope for the best.

Question: Okay but after you land, then WHAT?

Answer: This answer is in parts. Let’s take them short term (hours), medium term (weeks) long terms (months).

In the short term, we will land, pack up a car with Eliot, me and Leen, and maybe two suitcases and drive off. The other suitcases we will load into another car, driven by my parents. We will drive to Reedsburg, WI. About a 3.30h drive from O’Hare at that time, assuming traffic is good. We will spend the night there while trying to minimize contact with my parents on account of all the potential germs we have been exposed to on board the flight. It’s not ideal, but it’s our plan for the moment.

Medium term: We will drive to Minnesota and begin a short term rental in Minneapolis or Saint Paul as we look for employment and house. We are in negotiations with a few people about properties but haven’t signed anything as of right now. The airbnb market is barren right now, so there are houses available, but the owners I think are holding out hope that magically the disease disappears and everyone goes back to “normal.” So while we have bites on people offering us reduced rates, we haven’t signed on the dotted line. We plan to be in the cities for June and July. That’s all we can sign on to for now.

Long term: Jobs and houses. Both things that are difficult to lock up from 7,000 miles away. Ideally, we will settle in the Midwest. It’s predominately where our friends and families are, and the place, outside of Qatar, that I have called “home” the longest. But in a market such as it is, beggars cannot be choosers. I have been telling people that I am casting a wide net for employment. From Green Bay to Kansas City, from Minneapolis to Indianapolis. The reality is we will likely take a job in just about anywhere if it comes to it. While I’d love to head into Minneapolis on June 1st, and fork over a fat wad of cash for a down payment on a house, there’s a non-zero chance I get a job working at a wine label making company in Kansas City (thanks Ziprecruiter) and then my house in MPLS would be pretty useless for my new life in KC. I am participating in an e-hiring fair for schools mostly located on the east coast this weekend and who knows what will come of it. We are essentially free agents as we return to America and we are willing to take our talents to whichever market wants to offer me employ.

Question: Wow that sounds like a lot. How are you guys holding up?

Answer: One time when I was walking around my apartment in Qatar, I found a note card, and written upon it was a phrase: Focus on what you can control. I didn’t know why this was there at the time but I decided to tack this card to the wall and it became my mantra. It’s a mantra that I mostly never use, save for when going through moments of total panic but right now, we are trying to focus on what we can control. In the month between the cancellation and the approval, I baked a lot. It was a good stress reliever. In the days after the approval, I took photographs of everything in the kitchen and sold most of our cooking items. I can bake in America, I reckon. Leen has been a champion packer. She packed 175 kg worth of items into 5 boxes and those boxes magically went from Doha to my house in Reedsburg in 5 days. FIVE DAYS, five boxes. 175 kgs. Wild. We decided it was so easy that we would pack and ship more. It might cut down on some of the airport stress if I only have five suitcases instead of 7. Spending time at home has been a dream. Like a paternity leave that I was not granted. But every time Leen and I have a free moment when we’re not feeding, changing, napping, rocking, entertaining, or hanging with Eliot, we are: packing, food prepping, shopping for groceries here, planning logistics there, job hunting, networking, updating resumes, car hunting, house searching, talking with friends to stay sane, exploring the use of pineapple juice in cocktails, watching the new Hulu show that can be described as: IRISH SEX DRAMA, or falling asleep early. It’s a lot. We are doing well, all things considered. Hopeful. Afraid. Relieved. Anxious. 258 other words that offer juxtaposing views of highs and lows that one can be feeling in April of 2020. I feel like you understand or at least, can relate. We feel like you do, only with the added pressure of an international move and a baby and unemployment and no where to live. But we’ll figure it out!

Question: Are you excited about leaving Qatar?

Answer: Towards the end of my study abroad in Cairo in 2008, I received an email from my mom. In it she predicted that in the final weeks I would be feeling wistful about my time there. I didn’t know what the word meant, so I googled it. Eh, it was close and I was 21, so I let the word be a stand in for what I thought I was feeling. Tonight as I asked myself this same question that I am pretending you are asking I realized Wistful isn’t right. Wistful implies there is a longing for something. I do not have much longing for much of Qatar (though I didn’t ever make it up to the UNESCO World Heritage site in the north). So I set about looking for a different word. Into google I typed “words that are both happy and sad at the same time” and wow, lots of people want a word to describe that feeling. Unfortunately English does not offer this word. I’ve currently set Leen onto the task of identifying if this word exists in Arabic. One language I can say that it does exist in is Portuguese and the word is saudade. Further defined the word describes a state of nostalgia while simultaneously being excited for the future. That’s basically where I am at about leaving Qatar. Lots of memories and experiences and things that will make me laugh for many years to come. However I am more excited about the prospect of sitting in parks, wearing shorts in public, getting mail delivered, eating Baked Cheetos, holidays with friends and family, car rides over plane rides and the ability to live in a functioning albeit mostly collapsed, broken. unsatisfying. borderline-failed-democracy and complain about it aloud. When I moved to Qatar, I had a blog called “Going Missing For Awhile.” I didn’t think my absence from the country would last 8 years, but hey, here we are. Onto the next adventure

Question: Will you keep writing? That paragraph felt like a sign off.

Answer: I should think. In addition to baking, writing really helped me process the state of the world in isolation. If you go back and look at the first date of the newest era of dumps, you’ll find it to be a few days after Leen’s interview was cancelled. This is not a coincidence. I have received a lot of feedback about the titles of the dumps. Does it have to be so vulgar? Can you change it to something else? Why are you writing about poop so much? All good questions people. I guess you’ll have to stay tuned to find out.

Question: Are you selling anything that people want to buy?

Answer: No one really asked this, but I have a couch that I am selling. Very comfortable. I don’t know how to take it apart. Ample storage. It’s yours. $1500. Come on! Couches are so great! Get yourself a couch! What about a car! I have a car they don’t make in America anymore because it’s probably terrible for the environment. You could buy the car to own the libs. Ship it to America, pay the import taxes, pay the fees associated with getting it up to standards and then, own the libs. 2016 Pajero. You’ll love it. It’s great. In addition to those big ticket items, I have some puzzles without images that I am trying to get rid of, a few chairs from Ikea that are nice if you’re into that and some baking tins that produce good cakes. You won’t regret it.

Couch for sale. Get it!