MFC: Part XI — Longing for Happiness
I want to talk about longing.
There was a time when I longed to write the great American novel. When I started student teaching, I 100% told that to my first group of students. I also told them that I liked to party. This was mixed messaging, but they really needed to tell you how to introduce yourself to your first class on your first day so you don't embarrass yourself. You get a lot of questions, and they’re, if you squint, peers, so you want to talk to them like you’d talk to friends, but that’s how you end up listening to Azelia Banks 212 with a kid because Pitchfork said it was the hot track when he turns to you and says: We probably shouldn’t be listening to this together, huh?
I’ve given up on my dreams of writing a novel. I don’t have the attention to detail to build mindsets for others. I speak so uniquely the way I do that I have a hard time believing I could write dialogue for others that doesn’t just sound like it’s me talking to a different version of me. That said, maybe I need to write non-fiction instead.
I have often mused that I want to write a book called “What Doesn’t Kill You: Childhood Illnesses, Maladies, and Other Stories” but haven’t gotten my act together to find a pediatrician to write it with.
The idea is simple: I would interview a family who has experienced something atrocious regarding a relatively typical (or wildly atypical) childhood ailment. This anecdote would highlight the pain and suffering associated with these issues. Then, we’d have a very friendly Pediatrician come in and explain the specifics behind the treatment, prevention, worst-case scenarios, and physiology of each. In a dream world, pediatricians would recommend it at birth. It would become a baby shower must-have and the staple of any “how to prepare for the unpreparable” Dad reading list. In my experience, dads always look for a way into the experience. The first few months can still seem a bit foreign to us since we’ve not undergone any massive change to our bodies, so it’s nice to find a niche that the mother doesn’t have to try to make time for in her brain. If the baby got a fever, it’d be great if the dad could say: I read about this in my book! And then he’d flip to page 19 and say, "Okay, I know what we need to do.
So far, my book would include the following:
– Chemical burns
– Tainted blood draws that lead to false positives of Blood Infections
– Strep
– Untreated Strep Complications
– Ear Infections
– COVID
– Whooping Cough
– Croup
– Foremilk/Hindmilk Imbalance
– Pink Eye
– A fever so high for so long they stick a catheter up his peehole to see if, like, maybe it’s a urinary tract infection (it wasn’t)
– RSV
– Teething
– The Common Cold, aka a fever that lasts for five days, and they won’t accept your child at daycare, but really, his only symptom is that his temp is 100.1, and anything over 100 is considered a fever.
Parents, do you have any ailments I’ve left off?
Things you think deserve to be covered? Let me know.
But we’re not here for me to pitch my good ideas for free (though if you have any pediatrician friends, have them call me). No, we are here to talk music and how these songs are somehow related this week.
According to calendars, it’s the first day of Spring.
I call bullshit.
I mean, what’s the point of seasons anymore? Who invented seasons?
Seasons are sort of like positions in basketball. An antiquated way to mark something that no longer applies to most of the world. One of the draws of Minnesota, or midwestern life, was always “a true four seasons experience,” but now, what does that even mean? Summers are hotter and longer than ever. Fall is synonymous with leaves changing, but take a look at a foliage map, and you’ll see you’ve got like 3 weeks to enjoy the colors before it goes from green to dead. Winters. Who knows. Last winter was hell. We broke records for snowfalls, cold days, and depression levels. This Winter? No snow. Record highs in January, February, and March.
And now, today, we’re supposed to celebrate the start of Spring? For what? As I mentioned, my tulips have been growing for weeks now, and the rabbit population of the Twin Cities, not decimated by hawks as they scampered across snowy terrains, is on track for its most robust population year in recorded history.
And yet, according to my weather App, we're on track for 20 inches between now and next Wednesday.
With all that said, what is Spring?
I have to assume the adage about in like a lion, out like a lamb is moot now. Months are irrelevant. Seasons are dead.
Winter jackets? Spring coats? Things of the past.
Check the temperature when you wake up and dress accordingly.
I just read that the Ancient Egyptians celebrated three seasons: Inundation, Growth, and Harvest. These seasons corresponded to different agricultural activities and were influenced by the flooding of the Nile. I propose moving to a more attire-based seasonal chart: no coat, light coat, heavy coat.
It’s not a cycle as much as it’s a scale.
“What Coat Season Is It?” “It looks like we’ve been in for a long Heavy Coat season.”
I long for a time or place where seasons make sense. Until then, I am breaking up with them.
Today’s Theme: Break Ups and Longing
Song
Save Tonight
Artist
Eagle Eye Cherry
Released
1997
Lyric
There's a log
On the fire
And it burns
Like me for you
One Word
Relatable
|More Than One Word|
Eagle-Eye is this fucker’s real ass name. There is no fact more important in all of the 100 songs that I am going to tell you other than that. Birth Name: Eagle-Eye. You may be forgiven if you thought, well, I am sure that name comes from eclectic parents or is tribal* in nature.
No. His dad’s name is Don. Don and Monicka.
*Okay, there is some link to Choctaw lineage through his paternal grandmother. However, Eagle-Eye is still a pretty wild name for a boy born in 1968 running around Sweden, right?
I have not counted my “one-hit wonders” on this list, but Eagle-Eye is definitely that. However, if I wrote only one song and it was as cool as Save Tonight, I’d be okay with obscurity for the rest of them. Save Tonight has a catchy melody, acoustic guitar-driven arrangement, and Cherry's distinctive vocals, leading us through a very sing-alongble chorus.
This song has the misfortune of being too fast for a slow song and not poppy enough for a pop track. As such, I bet it got lost in that no-man’s land and didn’t make it into the playlist of many a middle and high school dance, but listen, it’s not too late for this one to make a comeback.
The song has a straightforward premise: “Let’s make tonight great because who knows what tomorrow has in store for us?” As Eagle Eye has said in interviews, this song ironically impacted his life. He wrote the song about making the last night count because you never know when something will end. Still, after the song’s success, he was routinely just about to leave on tour to play the song about leaving.
That’s art.
I want to touch quickly on the concept of my novel and my inability to have anyone else speak. Eagle Eye feels a similar way. Watch the video for Save Tonight, and you’ll see Eagle Eye starring in EVERY role in an impressively shot One-Take video.
Sometimes, it’s nice to just talk to yourself.
Song
To Be With You
Artist
Mr. Big
Released
1991
Lyric
Why be alone when we can be together, baby?
You can make my life worthwhile
I can make you start to smile
One Word
Confidence
|More Than One Word|
I just finished watching the four-part series on Max called “Quiet on Set” about being a child star on Nickelodeon sets during the 1990s and 2000s, so this song's beginning and being about a “little girl” are unsettling. I will refer to the character in my anecdote linking to this song as a girl, but you have to imagine I was a boy, and she was a girl.
Not like I was a man and she was a girl.
Getting that out of the way, this song is excellent for sad boys with crushes on girls who never pay them enough attention.
In 7th grade, I tore my ACL. In some miraculous world (Serendipity), the girl I had a crush on also messed up her knee. This meant we hung out the entire summer before 8th grade, riding bikes, going to the pool, doing knee rehab, and falling in love.
EXCEPT ONLY ONE OF US WAS IN LOVE.
I don’t know who she was in love with, but it was definitely not me. Heartbreaking stuff when you’re the one being like YOU CAN MAKE MY LIFE WORTHWHILE. I can make you start to smile.
The distinction that lead singer Eric Martin makes here: “start to smile” is essential. He understood that he needed to set the bar low so that whoever he was pining for merely required to experience some happiness, and she would immediately fall for him.
I don’t think I’ve ever heard any other Mr. Big songs, but my inclination is to assume this song is a deviation from the norm, and I love that for them. The stripped-down version of this song showcases Martin's vocal range and skill as a power-ballad virtuoso. It’s an emotionally resonant song that is far too familiar for many of us.
I touched on the idea of “Confidence” being a key in my love for the OC way back many editions ago. Seth Cohen was unconfident and made up for it with GRAND GESTURES (red flags). The guys from Mr. Big, as written in this song, did not have the confidence to do a GRAND GESTURE, so instead, they wrote a charming song about just hoping she’d change her mind. My guess? She didn’t. But the song is good. So at least they have that going for them.
Song
Don’t Think Twice, It’s All Right
Artist
Bob Dylan
Released
1963
Lyric
I ain't a-saying you treated me unkind
You could've done better, but I don't mind
You just kinda wasted my precious time
But don't think twice, it's all right
One Word
Bitter
|More Than One Word|
The other day, I heard the term “Pick-Me-Girl” while Leen was watching the Love is Blind season 6 finale. I asked her what a pick-me girl is and why they keep using that term. Based on its name, I would have thought it was a girl who tried hard to be picked.
Based on my research, this is only partially correct. Apparently, it’s a pejorative. You say it to someone as a put-down to be like: Shut up, you’re just a pick me girl. Which shrug emoji. I have no idea. Pick Mes, I guess, engages in behaviors such as talking shit about other women, tradwife behaviors, modesty about their own accomplishments, and being submissive. None of this explains to me how we ended up with the phrase Pick Me Girl.
Someone explain that to me. Then, listen to Bob Dylan’s song “Don’t Think Twice, It’s All Right” and tell me if Bob exhibits pick-me-girl tendencies. Is the girl he wrote the song about a Pick-Me girl? Does being a Pick-Me girl have anything to do with this song?
Photos of Chalamet playing young Bob Dylan recently leaked, and, like, whatever. I am sure the movie will be OK. I will be curious to see how this will be too different from what Oscar Isaac did in Inside Llewyn Davis. Also, I need clarification on the news that Tim wants another current-it boy, Austin Butler, to reprise his Elvis role and make an appearance in the film despite Elvis and Bob Dylan never crossing paths. BUT SURE, let’s put him in the movie.
This song was written by young Bob (I move to bring Bob back. I know ONE guy who is a Robert who goes by Bob, and frankly, that number needs to be higher) when he was in the throes of breaking up with a lady named Suze (which I suspect is pronounced Susie, but I’ll wait for the film to confirm). It features what would become his iconic finger-picking style, a little harmonica work, and talk-singing lyrics that seem kinda mean but also deeply relatable.
This song might be the closest one on the list to match how I feel about Seasons.
So long, honey babe/Where I'm bound, I can't tell/Goodbye's too good a word, babe/So I'll just say, "Fare thee well."
Song
Love Burns
Artist
Black Rebel Motorcycle Club
Released
2001
Lyric
Nothing else can hurt us now, no loss
Our love's been hung on a cross
Nothing seems to make a sound, and now
It's all so clear somehow
Nothing really matters now, we're gone and on our way
One Word
Brooding
|More Than One Word|
There's a lot to be said about picking a cool band name. Since Eliot is in the fledgling reading phase of his life, whenever he sees me listening to music, he asks me who sings it. He is especially fond of band names with animal names, such as Fleet Foxes, The Beatles, and Arctic Monkeys. Black Rebel Motorcycle Club is a band with a decidedly cool name and an equally cool sound. Sometimes, bands have names that sound like one thing, but their music sounds like another.
Destroyer, for example, does not sound like a man who destroys anything.
On the other hand, BRMC sounds a bit like they could be a motorcycle club, inasmuch as I know what a motorcycle club would sound like. I didn't watch that show on FX about the biker gang, but my wife liked it, so I assume that Charlie Hunnam and the company would really dig the Black Rebel Motorcycle Club. I also assume the upcoming film The Bike Riders will feature BRMC songs. If they don't, that's a real missed opportunity. Similarly, a show or movie set in Tokyo featuring police should include music from the band Tokyo Police Club. But I digress.
From the moment the needle drops on the album's opening track, "Love Burns," listeners are transported to a world of distortion-drenched guitars, pounding rhythms, and haunting vocals. The album's production, characterized by its lo-fi aesthetic and DIY ethos, perfectly captures the band's live energy and garage-rock aesthetic, adding an authentic layer of grit to each track. Frontman Peter Hayes croons about intense themes of love, loss, and existential angst.
You may be tempted to make a "Love burns? See a doctor." joke, but at least give this song a listen first. Then let the album play all the way through. There are some real gems on BRMC (and the entire BRMC discography, honestly) that are overlooked, including the majestic Spread Your Love.
Artist
Wyclef Jean
Released
1997
Lyric
Yo, tell my girl, yo, I'll be gone 'til November
January, February, March, April, May
I see you cryin', but girl, I can't stay
One Word
Haiti
|More Than One Word|
It's fair to state that I learned everything I know about Haiti because of Wyclef Jean. From its successful slave revolt, French colonization, Creole heritage, natural disaster impacts, and more, Wyclef is usually my first Haitian thought. Not too long ago, Wyclef partnered with TIAA to promote retirement planning for minorities, which seems admirable but also questionable when considering Wyclef's links to problematic money issues.
Recently, Haiti has been back in the news, and if you haven't heard, it's not good. I think Haiti has entered the Syria zone. If you talk to anyone who's visited Syria, they'll tell you how pretty it was, how peaceful it was, how nice it was to visit. Those days are gone, and I am not certain they're coming back.
Haiti may be in the same realm. It seems fraught with problems that will be hard to overcome when competing with so many nearby nations and destinations that are equally picturesque and nowhere near as worrisome.
But what does this have to do with Wyclef?
Nothing exactly. I just wanted to take a moment to talk about what's going on in Haiti because this used to be a news service, and now, as a blogger, I still want to share interesting stories from time to time.
Gone Til November, though. It's fitting that I've included a Bob Dylan song and this Wyclef song in the same playlist because Bob appears in the Gone Til November music video for reasons that are not entirely clear. Why is Bob Dylan there?
As someone who also does not want to work a 9-5, I empathize with Wyclef in this song, who is just trying to tell his girl that he has to go somewhere until November. It was not until I watched The Wire a few years after this song came out that I realized what it meant to make a run, and I could not for the life of me figure out why you'd come back to anywhere in November.
Wyclef sings the video wearing a dope sweater and leather jacket from the airport. So you know he's leaving somewhere cold only to talk about returning there in November.
Snowbird Wyclef is not. No, this guy is not heading down to Boca to return to Brooklyn come November.
My guess? He is heading on a drug run and will be back "in November," in the way that "40" was a stand-in, biblically speaking, for a long time.
Or is he going to jail? I don't know. I am not looking it up. This song is perfect—no notes.
See you in November*
*Next week (though, according to my new season's theories, next week and the weather in November are basically the same, so I mean, have I really gone anywhere?)
Things to think about.
Check the playlist. Send me your diseases. The names of them, not like, lick something and send it to me in the mail.
