Happy Father’s Dump
Leen, Eliot and I have been home for about three weeks now.
Most of the literature I’ve read about COVID-19 tells me that if you haven’t developed anything after 14 days, you’re probably in the clear. So the good news is that likely, we didn’t contract anything on the airplane. Qatar Airways, outside of the one flight to Greece, seems to be taking necessary precautions to prevent the spread. We can thank them for that.
In the three weeks since we’ve been back, we’ve had the remarkably good fortune of having a lot of people help us. In today’s update, I wanted to shout out some people for some things, give you a brief summary of weeks two and three in the USA and explain the costs of moving across the world.
Shoutouts
Shoutout to Josh, Louis, and Ashleigh. Thanks for helping us transport our 7 suitcases and stroller and 4 carry-ons to the airport. I apologize to Josh for making him sweat the night before by asking him to install a car seat base. I apologize to Louis for the bird pooping on him at the airport. I do not apologize to Ashleigh because she is great and she needs to stop worrying so much. Thank you to all, especially as you help us navigate ending our internet bill in Qatar that we bailed on.
Shoutout to my neighbor Gemma. We appreciate that we rode in an elevator for like two years before any of us spoke to each other. No one wants to talk in the elevator at 5:50 am, even to their neighbor. Also thank you for the baby toys. They were lifesavers while every store in Qatar closed; and Eliot still grips the rings like Gollum. Happy you were able to take my remaining liquor collection off my hands at the end there too.
One of five rings, called “Beans” + Uncle Flot (and Orange Wine)
SO to Taylor for suggesting I buy some LuluLemon ABC pant (Asia fit) Those things were ideal for the airplane. Great travel pant. Breathable. Comfortable. Just ideal for 20 hours of travel across the planet.
SO to my parents. Where do I start? They’ve done so much! But specifically in this journey? They drove to Chicago in two cars so that Leen and I could drive one back separately and make sure that we didn’t have to rent a car. They (for the most part) (those four words are going to elicit a text message) respected our wishes to maintain our distances at their house for a few nights as we recovered and planned our next move. Then they obviously need an additional shout out for their efforts in the moving process. Heroes. They moved more than I can ever really understand or appreciate. Thank you. It’s still weird calling you from the same time zone. Getting used to it.
SO to Jan and Phil. Thanks for offering us a place to quarantine ourselves so that we didn’t infect anyone (at the time, we didn’t know we weren’t sick). It was exactly what the doctors, had they been willing to see us, would have ordered. Also, your high pile rug in the living room inspired us to go carpet shopping. More on that later.
SO to Nick. He met us at Jan and Phil’s. He hung at a safe distance from the family and went on a shopping run for us one night. He bought me a pair of laughably small sweatpants that def are not comfortable but I wear anyway because sometimes I aspire to be a men’s small in leisurewear. He also captained Eliot’s first-ever boat ride.
First Culver’s dessert of the season; not the last
SO to Joe and Adri: A constant source of uplifting and funny text messages about things like house hunts, momo orders, bocce ball. We appreciate being closer to family and the ability to walk over and say hello and hang out in the compound Also thankful that they know what to do when a fuse blows or how to repair a leaky bathtub. These are skills we did not acquire or hone while in Qatar.
Socially distanced backyard hang
SO to the Frasers. Now we have a dark nursery that doesn’t rely on many pieces of well-taped cardboard. Also thank you for buying me a box of Nerds and dropping off dinner. It was needed.
SO to Matt and Lexi. You helped us move in! You wore masks. You carried shit. You brought donuts, coffee and juice! A+ friends right there. You built most of the furniture and put away the silverware and dishes. Outstanding. Happy to be in the same state as you guys.
The Cost of Moving Home
This is not a space where I will complain about the costs of moving home (maybe a little). I will say it at the top: moving home after 8 years abroad is expensive! I am honestly not sure how people do it who haven’t been in Qatar. Qatar offered us a nice “End of Service” package that makes spending $200+ at Target painful but not deadly.
Here I will document some of the costs so that if you ever find yourself in a situation where you are moving continents, you will know what it may cost you.
Rent: $1700. If you find knowing what I am paying in rent offensive, then, maybe just take a skip on this post. We’ve got a nice two-bedroom apartment in S. Minneapolis on Chicago Ave. This can be confusing for some people as they think we’ve moved to Chicago. Nope. Just a street in Minneapolis called Chicago. The landlord replaced the appliances in the kitchen before we moved in, but failed to install a light fixture in the living room. The floors are creaky. But it’s a give and take.
Carpets: $260. We’ve transitioned into the crawling phase of parenting, and so, we wanted some carpets on which our young boi could explore his new abode. We grabbed two carpets-- one for the living room (9’x6’; 2.7x1.6m) and one for the nursery (smaller but greater pile). They’re nice. We like them and more importantly, he seems to enjoy them too.
There are a lot of food options at Target. Too many.
Target: $1500 After years of shopping at Carrefour and Monoprix, I may have been too eager to return to “normalcy” when it comes to shopping in America. It is painful to have had things like a colander and immersion blender in Qatar, and then show up in America and have to ask: Do I need one of those right now? Well, let’s go to Target and see what happens. What happens, readers, is that you buy things that you want but may not need. Our front door now has a Wants and Needs list on it. I only take the Needs list with me when I leave the house. Eliot, like his parents, has many snack options.
Air Conditioners: $800 In Qatar, you become accustomed to a lot of things. One such thing is a constant source of cool air in your apartment to keep you from a)breathing in toxic dust air and b) from dying of heat exhaustion while you sit on your couch. We moved into an apartment with no air conditioning on the hottest day of the summer so far. We bought two large ACs (not window units because our landlord doesn't like the way they look) and now have cool-ish air inside and an electricity bill that will be surprising the first time I open it!
Couch: $850 For a handful of reasons, there is a massive couch shortage in the USA right now. I want you to take a look at the couch you have in your house, any couch you have, and ask: Should I sell this couch at a premium on Craigslist right now? Our unfurnished apartment came furnished with two armchairs my parents brought us. They were… fine but not exactly “give it all up to nap on this” sort of comfortable. So we went to Slumberland and looked at Wayfair. Right now, in most cases, the earliest you can get a couch is Late July or Early August. One quote I saw was “five weeks after July 27th.” THAT’S SEPTEMBER. I found a couch on Craigslist that a guy called Wayne was selling for $950; I got him to give it to me for 850 plus 40 for a UHaul rental. I told him about the couch shortage after I paid and he said: Shit, I shoulda asked for more! Yes, Wayne, you should have.
A couch really ties the room together
Wine: $135 I am used to seeing a bottle of wine priced at around $30, like really crappy cheap wine, and thinking: WOW WHAT A STEAL because Qatar really messes with your ability to judge value on certain products. So when I walk into a wine shop and see that they have multiple varieties of Slovenian Orange wine and my pick of Beaujolais, I spend $135 on wine. I don’t regret it.
Ace Hardware: $220 Not exactly the handiest of men myself, I’ve become quite accustomed to someone changing my light bulbs, unclogging my sinks, hanging doors that fall off hinges, and other little things I have already forgotten about because of the convenience they offered me. Well, this is America where home upkeep seems to be the new hobby people do on weekends. “Oh, I’ve got some projects around the house I need to take care of.” I’ve joined the project's posse. Now I’ve at least got the tools and supplies needed to take care of them.
Groceries at Coop + membership: $500 Our local grocery store is a food co-op. I may have been panicked by the variety of organic milks available to me and unnecessarily bought two gallons “to test them each” when I should have just picked one. Repeat this error about a half dozen more times, plus add in the ability to buy fresh local produce, pork products, cold cuts, and bagels with poppy seeds on them and you see how the total can be as high as this. We will figure out groceries. We’ve only been here for two weeks. It’s a process of acclimation.
And that is how you drop $6000 (+ a lot of little expenditures that I didn’t document) in the first 20 days of living in America.
So when people ask “How does it feel to move home?”
I’m tempted to describe it as “Expensive.” I typically don’t because most people want you to just be excited to be here and no one wants you to drag them down with a commentary on the cost of a salad spinner at Target.
Don’t get me wrong: ALL OF THIS is cheaper than it would have been in Qatar, however, in Qatar, I was getting paid commensurate with what things cost (for the most part). In the USA, I am not getting paid, and so money out… but no money in!
The ship will right itself. I wrote some really good cover letters this week. And one HR Director said that I was still in the running for a job (but only because they hadn’t stopped accepting applications yet).
Good things are coming our way.
No time to read the news in the past two weeks, plus the fact that I didn't have WiFi sorted out in my apartment for the first six days we were here.
Go outside. Seems like the disease isn't spreading outside. That's good news.
Go find a father, or a man of fathering age and say Happy Father’s Day.
Eliot’s orders.
